"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"

I like McDonald's food as well as the next person (well, maybe not as well) but what I'm not prepared to do, as was Melodi Dushane, is physically attack a McDonald's franchise employee, and a drive-up window, for no apparent reason other than that the Chicken McNugget time of day was a few hours away, and she'd have to postpone her McNugget fix:

"Melodi Dushane really, really wanted her chicken nuggets. So she wasn't loving it when a worker at the Toledo McDonald's told her they stopped serving the meal at 2:30 a.m.

In fact, she was downright mad. The 25-year-old reacted to the news by getting out of her car and throwing punches at the employee, then pounding on the glass with her elbow and then finally smashing it, according to ABC affiliate KSFN in Fresno, Calif."

Fantasia Barrino, one of my all-time favorite American Idols (I love her rendition of "Summertime," overdosed on aspirin and a sleep aid (not identified). For her, the livin' hasn't been easy. Speculation is that she did it, in part, because of an affair gone awry with a married man, one Antwaun Cook, and, in part, because of a "scandalous lawsuit."

Her manager released a statement corroborating Fantasia's recent medical crisis, and ended it with the following words:

"Fantasia will be stronger, smarter, and better for it. Her work has always inspired her and served as a source of strength. Her new album, “Back To Me,” will be released on August 24th.

"The lyrics to 'I’m Here' say it best:
'I Believe I Have Inside Of Me
Everything That I Need To Live A Bountiful Life
With All The Love Inside Of Me
I’ll Stand As Tall As The Tallest Tree
And I’m Thankful For Each Day That I’m Given
Both The Easy And The Hard Ones I’m Livin’
But Most Of All
Yes, I’m Thankful For Lovin’ Who I Really Am'

"Fantasia sends her praise to God and her eternal gratitude to her fans, friends, and family.

"God is good."

Providing the birth-date on the Internet is correct, Fantasia Barrino is either twenty-five years of age, or twenty-six.

Her age is not a factor here, only that, if she had managed to kill herself, she would have left undone years of living and experiencing--and would have left on the vine more grapes than she had consumed.

Mental illness, as many of us have observed, should not be taken lightly.

And for sufferers of mental illness, empathy is rarely fully extended, mainly, I think, because so few of us have experienced it directly ourselves.

Although familiar with physical pain, some find it hard to commiserate with those whose pain is said to be mostly mental, than physical.

Here's hoping that Fantasia will find the help she needs for her tempest-tossed life, help to guide her safely to shore.

If the Fantasia Barrino story is true--that her attempted suicide resulted because she was scorned by her married lover--then the two stories, the McNugget incident, and the Barrino suicide attempt, aren't as dissimilar as they might appear at first blush.

The common thread that runs through them both, if we were to connect the two using a needle of thought to stitch the two, is that both incidents revolve around two women seeking a satisfaction of a sort--one in pursuit of Chicken McNuggets, and the other, a man.

In both instance, each woman reacted rashly, and inappropriately. And, in both instances, things could have ended badly for the two.

All this, because their desires and their plans had been thwarted by another.

Interestingly, they both sought to resolve their dissatisfaction using diametrically opposed methods--one by attacking the hired help as though the employee was responsible for making the policy that denied her McNuggets at that time of day (satisfaction by proxy), and the other by attacking herself (results by internalizing the problem, and capitulating to what she perhaps saw as implacable forces).

In short, fight or flight.

I would never make light of another's predicament. The old saw--to walk a day in another's moccasins--is applicable here, as well as in other situations that may cross our paths occasionally--so many black cats with which to contend, and to circumnavigate.

Without judging either method (fight or flight), but merely to select a course of action that resonates, I'd take fight over flight, just as a matter of temperament.

We blacks, when faced with the ruthless, and malevolent beast of racism, have had to make these two choices throughout most of our history in this country, both collectively and individually: Should we fight, and, if so, how--directly, confrontationally, as proposed by W.E.B. Du Bois, or take flight, abide our time by preparing to fight, and becoming so fit that a fight would be averted by our very readiness, as proposed by Booker T. Washington, or head for the shores of an unfamiliar land, as intimidating as that prospect might be, as proposed by Marcus Garvey?

Both methods have their advocates, and their opponents, and both have an upside, and a downside.

Flight may bring a cessation of the pain, although not all pain should be avoided, and fight doesn't always lead to victory, especially if it's done outside the bounds of what's legal, proper, or ethical.

In short, to resist in every arena is not always to win (What you resist, persists!) and to run away is not always to escape--that which set you in flight to begin with, still remains, but now it's larger, and scarier than before.

One or the other of the two (fight or flight) predominates in our life, or they may be said to be balanced--no predisposition to either--but that one or the other may be summoned as the situation or the circumstance dictates.

I propose striving for balance, as extremism rocks the boat, unbalances the seesaw, and tips the scales, although each is welcomed to do as each chooses--and certainly will, despite my proposal.

I find that those who're in fight mode continually, are hard to work with, live with, or interact with. And, too, those in a constant state of flight generally draw our ire as well. More fittingly, it's usually best to test the waters, and place a wet finger to the air, to determine the direction of the wind, before committing oneself to one mode or the other.

If you're facing a formidable foe, or an angry lion, or a mother grizzly, 'tis better to weigh your options (if time permits), whether to "fight," or to employ "flight," as the best course of action. Life, because it's designed to be that way, will present you with ample opportunities wherewith to exercise your judgment in this regard--whether it's better to fight, or take flight--because, as is generally the case, your life, ease of mind, income, freedom, or safety, may hang in the balance.

For Mitrice Richardson, whose remains were recently found, not far from where she was last spotted, I send my prayers to her family and friends. I pray that they will find solace in the absolute knowing that life--the perfect essence of who we are--is indestructible, and is eternal, and that options and choices continue, because we are "choice" itself, and more autonomous that we know.