At the beginning of each New Year, many people make New Year resolutions.
And I'm no exception.Each year I make the same resolution--the resolution that I made the year before. Perhaps you're thinking, "Boy, that's stupid! If you're making the same resolution year after year, then you ought to throw in the towel, and just ride out the upcoming year. It's clear you're not making much headway with your resolutions."
I could do that, but that would be uncharacteristic of me.
Here's what I resolve to do each year. I resolve to follow everyone's wish for me: to have a "Happy New Year." "But," you may say, "People don't really want you to take that literally. Sure they wish you a Happy New Year, but it's said out of tradition, out of their hope for you, not that they think it could actually happen. And if events come together to make a Happy New Year
really a happy one, then that's all good. But the chances of that actually happening is farfetched and remote, and dependent on many things, many of which can't be controlled--such as, external events, implacable situations, and hopeless outcomes.
Why, then, would anyone want to make the effort to be always happy, or to be joyful, which is merely an
exultant state of happiness? There's a very good reason: It's a God state. Despite the deplorable condition of our world, God is always joyful, and not moved to be discouraged. He's totally accepting, and giving. He's always blessings us, and loving us unconditionally. And He is always grateful for all that is.
In a similar fashion, I don't allow conditions to dictate my state of mind. I don't wait until I'm prosperous to be generous; to be in good health physically, or financially, to be in high spirits--to be happy, or joyful; to receive something of value to be grateful; to have others behave in certain ways, before I'm accepting, and loving; to have things go my way, or exist in certain ways, before I extend my blessing.
And from whom do I get the inspiration to forge ahead? Here's a little secret: I get it from those of you whose blogs I visit on the regular. Many of the names in my blogroll are of those who, in some way or another, inspire me.
Blinders Off is one. She writes about herself in this way:
"Love myself first and most. Avoid negative sources, people, place, things, and habits. Believe in myself. [...] Take control of my own destiny. Visualize it. Want it more than anything. I am a one of many unique child of God creations, nothing can replace ME. I will continue to zero in on my target and go for it!" Great stuff! I hope she won't mind me quoting her here. Here's a
blog entry that she wrote some time ago. It sums up why I consider her an inspiration, and a heroine.
And then there's GrannyStandingForTruth. Here's what her profile states in part:
"I am an ordinary woman who has lived an extraordinary and somewhat colorful life. I've been there, did that, done that. Many people have told me that I should write a book to share my life story and the many experiences I've had. However, I can think of way more people than me that have a story to tell that needs to be heard. Besides which, I just couldn't see my whole life on pages bound up in book being the free-spirited person that I am because stories have endings, and I'd like to think that every day I wake up is a new beginning with new experiences and many more new people to meet."I like the "free-spirited person" that she is, with the courage of a lioness, and an eagerness to face each day with anticipation and a sense of discovery. Here's a
blog entry, speaking out against the terror from within, that gives an indirect, word picture of the compassionate, and wise person, that she is.
Miriam, over at
Black Fire, White Fire, lives in Israel. What a singularly beautiful black woman she is. I'm going to link to one of her blog entries to give you a taste of her blog, and her uncommon spirit and courage. After reading this,
here and
here, you'll understand why she's on my blogroll, and why she's an inspiration and a hero to me. I like the word heroine, but the word is not currently in vogue.
Blackgirlinmaine's weblog is another that inspire. She's funny, witty, human, and loving. Her humanity shines through her blog entries, and here is a recent one, written around the holiday season, that encapsulates the wonderful human being she is. It's called
The Ugly Side Of Helping Others.
c.c.-kathy is another. She tells me that I inspire her (She calls it having a "positive influence". She doesn't know that she inspires me, as well. Here's a
blog entry over at
cognitive continuity, her blog's name, that will tell you everything I'd want you to know about kathy--her humanity, her ability to empathize, and her willingness to recreate herself in the grandest version of the greatest vision she's ever held of who she is, and who she might be.
Seda is yet another who I admire, and who's an inspiration. She writes about her own experiences with such nakedness (bearing her soul with such pure honesty), you can't help but be touched and inspired. I selected this
blog entry to illustrate what it is about her that touches me. I think it'll touch you, too.
And then there's msladydeborah and her blog,
From My Brown Eyed View. Would you like to know why she inspires me? Take a look at her
first blog entry of the year. She's a fighter with a strong spirit, and a pluckiness that would inspire anyone.
Ernesto--not blogging as much as I'd like, his blog entries revealing a sharp intellect, and perspicacity--challenges me to bring to my writing that depth of thought that's reflected in his own writing. Here's
a sample of why I find him, too, to be an inspiration. Published only a day after Christmas, it augurs for him greater adventures ahead.
And I mustn't forget sisterstation. She hasn't blogged since September, 09, but she's another blogger that tells it like it is, and does so with style, and panache. She uses words like so many knives--sharp and pointed--drawing blood with deft cuts across the American political and social corpus that even the victim slightly notices. Kathy is a regular visitor to her blog, but she clearly deserves a larger readership. Her humor, her humanity, and, best of all, her incisive intellect, keep me returning to her blog. If you'd like to know why I'm high on her, and find her an inspiration, read, not just one blog entry, but several. Here's
a link to her blog.
Finally, there's daddyBstrong. I say finally, not because I couldn't include others--many of whom, in small or large ways, have inspired me to hold firmly to the high ground of my choosing--but I wouldn't want to tax your patience, or lose the focus of this piece.
DaddyBstrong personified strength and courage under fire. Little did we know--most of us who visited his blog regularly--that he was waging a silent war against cancer. Some knew, but most didn't. In the end, he lost his battle, but in many ways he won the war. His life is a testament to how to live on your own terms, despite knowing that each day may be your last.
I always wondered about his handle,
daddyBstrong. Now I believe it served as a kind of mantra, a reminder of the state of mind he wished to maintain daily as he faced his mortality, and the inevitable. The man he was permeated his writings, especially his poetry. How he approached death inspired me as much as how he approached life.
DaddyBstrong showed us all how to fight a battle and win. You see, cancer may have taken him, but he didn't lose. He may have lost the battle, but he won the war: daddyBstrong lived and died according to his choosing.
Here is some of what he had to say on the first page of his blog: "But this blog is NOT about the daddy. It's about you: your boos, your fam, your hood, your country...our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow. So let's make a pact: the daddy will put it on the track if you'll chase it down and hit him back. Together, we can definitely take it to another level. Shall we?"
If you've never read his
blog entries or his poetry, I would encourage you to acquaint yourself with this extraordinary individual, not by sitting down in his physical living room, but his virtual one, and catch up on conversations already in progress, conversations that will be with us for as long as his blog remains in cyberspace. There, in that electronic world, daddyBstrong will live among us forever.
Like each of you, I have crosses to bear, and challenges to meet. Yet, the crosses, and the challenges are not in charge. I am. I'm in charge, because I get to determine my state of mind in the midst of those challenges, and I invariably choose happiness, and even joy. What a blessing that is. Even pain doesn't have to cause suffering. As many have observed, they're not one and the same. Pain may not be an option, but suffering is. We get to decide how we'll contend with it, how we'll behave in light of it, what our disposition will be because of it, and how we'll act and react as a result of it.
And although I seek to maintain these God attitudes always, I'm not oblivious to the suffering of others, or the pain they're experiencing, nor the struggles that define their day, their hardships, their obstacles, their burdens, nor the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune with which they contend. I'm keenly aware. I empathetically aware. I'm profoundly aware. And that awareness directs many of my actions, as I dig deeper to become more loving, more accepting, more joyful, more grateful, and more blessing--as I seek to bring these treasured attitudes to others, fully aware that, as I bring others to the experience, the more I get to experience the very experience I'm seeking to impart.
Please don't read this as a prescription as to how you should live your life. It's not that. It's how one person has chosen to live. Nothing more than that. Don't think, either, that my revelation here suggests that your life is not well, just as it is, and that you should adopt my approach. It's not that, either.
I have no preference in how you live your life. I have no preference in how you live out your years, and how you choose to confront life's many challenges. I have no preference as to what resolutions you make, or whether you make resolutions or not. I have no preferences at all.
That would take away your freewill--your prerogative to shape your life as you see fit, and to construct your world as you would fashion it. That is not to say that it wouldn't be gratifying if something I say here resonates with you, and you choose, as a result of that resonation, to adopt an idea or two presented here.
Notwithstanding all I've said, I wish you all a Happy New Year! all year long.